9 Ways To Find Your True Identity And Discover Who You Are.

There is a lot of pressure to be someone you’re not these days. When you are constantly being bombarded with messages from the media & society telling you how you should behave, look, and consume, it’s easy to lose a sense of who you really are. This blog post will help you find your identity so that you gain a strong sense of self, stop trying to fit in, and start living a more meaningful & authentic life.

9 Ways To Find Your True Identity.

I struggled with my own sense of identity for a long time and it took me years to find out who I really was because my identity was conditioned into me.

After I finally found the courage to discover my own identity, I felt more confident about myself because I understood myself better and accepted myself for who I really was.

The following is a list of exercises to help you find your strengths, values, beliefs, mindset, and more!

1. List Your Strengths.

Your strengths are the areas you excel at like a particular sport, cooking, caring for others, creating works of art, teaching kids, etc.

Writing down what I was good at made me feel cringey at first because I felt like I was bragging about myself even though no one was looking. However, it was useful to see my strengths because it was validating to know that I was actually good at something.

Making a list of things you excel at or have an aptitude for can help you identify how those strengths can be applied in different roles and aspects of your life.

For example, identifying your strengths can help you make better decisions, organize your time better, use your energy more efficiently, and prioritize the things you already have a knack for.

2. Identify Your Core Values.

Your values are the things that are most important to you. It’s important to identify your values because they help you discover who you are and what makes you tick.

Knowing your values also helps you make big & small decisions, like where to go to school, where you want to live, or what you want to eat for dinner.

It helps you prioritize your energy and focus so that you’re not second guessing what actions to take. Even if you do second guess, it keeps you from being paralyzed by fear and not taking action at all, which is worse than making a mistake from your actions & learning from them.

Here are some examples of core values:

Loyalty
Honesty
Integrity
Optimism
Equality
Adventure
Patriotism
Authenticity
Recognition
Enjoyment
Family
Money

3. Acknowledge Your Beliefs.

Your beliefs are your perceptions or what you accept as truth. Research shows that our beliefs are formed from our experiences, which are shaped by our family, school, friends, media, etc.

Your identity is made up of what you believe, which affects the way you live your life, how you react to your environment, and the way you approach your relationships. It also affects your values, actions, goals, and any plans you have for your life.

Identifying your beliefs will help you form goals that are aligned with your values as well as let go of any that are holding you back, such as limiting beliefs. Some examples of limiting beliefs are:

I am too young.
I am too old.
I don’t have the right skill set.
My looks are below average.
I will never find love.

4. Meditate.

Meditation is about being in the present moment. It can help you find your identity either by training your mind to focus on the now or being actively engaged in something that requires effortless attention, like a hobby or a passion.

All you need is some time and a quiet place so you can relax, allow your thoughts to flow without judgement, and listen to what your inner wisdom and emotional reactions tell you.

5. Practice Mindfulness.

Mindfulness is about becoming aware of what is within and around you so you become a passive observer of your thoughts & emotions without attaching to or identifying with them.

This is important because we can become blinded by our thoughts, emotions & beliefs and base our whole identity on them.

Mindfulness can help you see things as they are without these filters so you discern what is truly you and what isn’t.

6. Do Some Self-Reflection.

Self-reflection is a great way to discover your identity and is my favorite tool for getting inside my head. One way to do it is by journaling or writing in a diary.

I use a journal every day to dump my thoughts and see them more clearly on paper. It also helps me release my emotions and work out issues that need more clarity.

You can use journaling as a self-reflection tool to become more self-aware. When you’re more self-aware, you understand where your thoughts & emotions are coming from and how these affect the way you behave.

When you understand yourself better, you’re more accepting of your true self, and ultimately the way you identify yourself.

7. Take A Personality Test.

A lot of people are intimidated by the thought of taking a personality test. Don’t be. It isn’t as scary as it seems and can actually be a fun way to find your identity.

The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator [MBTI] is a type of test that assesses your personality based on how you make decisions and react in certain situations. According to the MBTI, there are 16 personality types.

Knowing what your personality is can be a tool that helps you gain insight into who you really are. The more you know about yourself, the easier it will be to find out who you are.

Maybe you are an introvert or an extrovert. Maybe you are a think-outside-the-box kind of person or a follow-the-rules kind of person.

Each personality type is meaningful in its own way, and understanding your personality can make it easier for you to understand how you interact with the world around you.

8. Accept Yourself For Who You Are.

Accepting yourself for who you are can help you find your identity because you’re not judging yourself or measuring yourself with someone else’s yardstick.

Oftentimes we criticize ourselves because we don’t look look a certain way or we don’t fit in. I know that this is challenging because it can feel lonely to stick out.

But you don’t gain anything meaningful & worthwhile by going with the “in” crowd, and it will be hard to find out who you truly are if you can’t accept yourself fully.

The best way to accept yourself for who you are is by embracing all parts of you, good and “bad”. Once you’ve done this, you’re less likely to fall prey to society’s definition of who you should be and more likely to become the person you were meant to be.

9. Love Yourself Unconditionally.

Everything should start with loving yourself, especially when it comes to finding your identity. It’s the quickest way to figure out who you really are because you are embracing all parts of you, good and bad.

When you love yourself without condition, you:

• allow yourself to be who you truly are in the world
• let your true self shine through and owning who you are
• are less likely to change your personality for others because you’ve affirmed your identity through self-love
• do not compromise your principles in order to appease others
• attract people who were meant to be with you
• stop trying to gain the attention & approval of those who don’t understand or accept you.

What Does It Mean To Find Your Identity?

Finding your identity is ultimately about finding out what makes you, you. It means understanding who you are and what makes you tick.

You are not your parents, the place you were born, or what you do for a living, even though we tend to identify with these things.

Being an authentic person means having values, interests, and passions that make you unique.

Yes, there are outside factors that may influence your behavior, but they don’t make up your core self.

How it feels to know who you truly are.

Knowing who you are gives you a sense of security. As a small child, and before my identity was shaped by society and other people, I knew who I was because I knew & accepted my truth.

I knew what I liked and disliked without judging myself. If someone disagreed with me or teased me, I knew that it didn’t affect or change the real me.

There is a certain freedom and comfort in finding your identity and accepting yourself for who you really are. It feels validating and it can act as a life raft when other people challenge or try to change you.

Why Is It Hard To Find Yourself?

Finding your identity can be hard because there can be many factors that contribute to your identity – from your friends and family, to your nationality, religion, or political preferences – making it hard to sort through it all.

Figuring out who you are can evoke difficult emotions like fear, anger, sadness, or depression, making it hard to even start the process.

Finally, it can be hard to find yourself simply because you don’t have the time, energy, or resources to start a self-discovery journey.

Why It’s Important To Find Your Identity.

In order to live a life that you love, it’s important to establish your identity. In this way, you can contribute not just to your wellbeing, but also to the world around you. Here are some other reasons why it’s important to find yourself:

1. When you’re confident in who you are, it makes living life on your own terms easier and more enjoyable.
2. Knowing who you make you unique and stand out from the crowd.
3. Having a strong sense of self enables you to feel comfortable in your own skin and accept yourself for who you are.
4. Knowing yourself increases your awareness of how you react physically, mentally, and emotionally to the world around you, making you feel more connected to yourself and others.

“Be yourself; everyone is already taken.” – Oscar Wilde

How Identity Is Formed [In Psychological Terms].

In the world of psychology, identity can be influenced by many factors, including social ones. According to Freud, what we understand as identity is divided into three parts:

• The id, which is driven by instinct and desire.
• The ego, which is driven by morality and values.
• The superego, which moderates the two and creates one’s identity.

Erik Erikson is another psychologist who studied the subject extensively and proposed a theory of development based on the different stages of life. The theory rests on the notion that the “ego identity” (otherwise known as “the self”)  helps to merge all the different versions of the self into the collective whole of a person’s identity so if any part shall fall, a person’s sense of self remains stable.

Social identity theory, which was created by Henry Tajfel, proposes that individuals try to improve their self-image by enhancing their self-esteem based on:

• personal identity
• personal achievement
• social identity
• association with a successful group

“I don’t cover my face because I want to show my identity.” – Malala Yousafzai

Bottom line.

Finding your identity can be tricky because there are so many factors that shape who you are. Not having a strong sense of self can lead to confusion and feeling like you’re lost.

Though it takes time and effort, it’s worthwhile to find out who you are because it can help you become more resilient and boost your confidence. There are effective ways to go about it like making a list of your strengths, writing in a journal, or meditating to gain clarity.

Being knowledgeable and aware of who you are may help you feel more peace, satisfaction, fulfillment, and connectedness with yourself, other people, and the world around you.

I hope that these tips help you find your true self. Let me know what you think!

More Ways To Find Your Identity:

If you want to explore more ways to find your identity, read: How to know yourself better in 10 different ways.

If you want to learn how identities are formed, check out: What is your identity?

Finally, if you want to take what you learned and apply it to your own life in 3 powerful steps, read: How to become the person you always wanted to be.