How to get your life together.


Life can get messy and complicated sometimes.  One day you have it all together, you know exactly where you're going, and you're killing it in every aspect of your life.  Then life throws you an unexpected curveball, or you lose something dear, or you feel stuck, or something chaotic happens in your life.

We've all been there and it's not pretty.  I, for one, would like to avoid all of life's downsides, but I can't.  Although it may seem like things are falling apart sometimes, it's not forever.  Discover how to get your life back together in 15 different ways.

How to get your life together.


You may not control all of the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them. - Maya Angelou

Having your life fall apart, then trying to put the pieces back together, is tough. I remember when I was a third grader back in Guam and I wanted to be a lead dancer in one of the many classroom performances so badly so I could wear one of those cute grass skirts.  The teacher didn't choose me as one of the leads and I was devastated.  It took a few days for me to get over it.

It seems inevitable for things in life to fall apart, then come back together, then repeat, again and again.

Putting your life back together after a catastrophic event, like a breakup, depression, or health challenge, is different from being overlooked for a school dance lead.

A cataclysmic occurrence in your life can cause trauma and linger around for a long time.  Although it might seem like the weight of the world is on your shoulders, you can put your life back together with some patience and time.


The only thing permanent in this life is that everything is temporary. - Unknown

Putting the pieces of your life back together might take as little as a day or a week.  Or it can take months, and even years, to get your life back together.  Getting back on track will take some time because you might need some healing and there is no predictable date for healing to occur.

There is no specific age for when you should have your life together, either.

You can have your life together at 60, 50, 40, 30, 20, or even 18 years old.  It truly is unique for each person because you have a completely different set of life experiences, beliefs, and values as everyone else, even a family member.

All you can do is focus on what you need in the moment and figure out how you can make it better so you can get your life back in order and start to move forward.


The glory is not in never failing, but in rising every time you fall. - Chinese proverb

There are many different ways to get your life back together because there is an equal number of reasons behind them.  For example, getting your life back again after a breakup in a relationship is going to look different from physical rehabilitation from a debilitating trauma.

As a result, the outcome is going to look different for each situation.  Although the means and the outcome are going to look different, there are tools that can help you put the pieces of your life back together so you can heal completely in your your own time and start living your life again.


No matter what the situation is...close your eyes and think of all the things you could be grateful for in your life right now. - Deepak Chopra

I compiled a list to help you get your life back in order so you can begin the path to living your best life in a meaningful way.


One way to feel like you're getting your life back on track is to practice gratitude.  Expressing gratitude is giving thanks, or having an appreciation for, something.  Studies have shown that there is a link between gratitude and wellbeing.

I remember when I challenged myself to a 30-day gratitude journaling exercise and discovered that being grateful for even 1 thing every day increases abundance and made me feel joyful for even the small things in life.

There are different ways to express gratitude.  One way is to express it out loud to yourself or to another person.  Another way, which is my personal favorite, is to write down what you're thankful for in a gratitude journal.


Getting your life back in order means organizing and cleaning up debris internally and externally.  External organizing is getting rid of material things you don't need, to create a space that is simple and flowing.

Internal organizing is giving up intangible things that don't add value to your life like ruminating thoughts, limiting beliefs, or toxic relationships.  Organizing your life is a process with many different styles, like the KonMari system by Marie Kondo or The Minimalists' approach to getting more organized and living a simpler lifestyle.  Do your own research until you find a system that resonates with you to help you get your life back together.


Discovering your passions and living a more purposeful life can help you get back on track because they both bring inspiration, meaning, and focus in your life.

Having a purpose in life is like having a compass to guide you through life, especially for those times when you feel lost or distressed.  Knowing your life's purpose or having a purpose in life has even been associated with better health outcomes and reduced mortality.

You can start with knowing who you truly are.  Answer the following questions with honesty:

  • What is my dream job?
  • Who do I look up to or admire?
  • What are my favorite topics to talk about?
  • What are my skills and talents?
  • How do I want to be remembered?

If you want more help with this, you can download this free guide to help you know yourself better so you can find your passion and purpose to get your life back on track.


Motivation can be a powerful driving force to help you get your life back together.  It is the catalyst that helps propel you forward, especially when you feel uninspired or life is kicking you in the butt.

To help you find motivation, here are some questions you can ask yourself:

  • Who or what do I turn to when I need advice?
  • Is there anything that excites me right now?
  • What is one simple goal that I can easily achieve?
  • What have I accomplished in the past that I'm proud of?
  • What does my ideal life look like?


In his book, The Art of Happiness, the 14th Dalai Lama said that the purpose in life is to be happy.  Happiness can be achieved by getting your basic needs met and then training the heart and mind to maintain it.

Both eudaimonic and hedonic happiness can lift you up and motivate you to get your life back together.  Hedonic happiness can lift you up quickly, like retail therapy, or eating your favorite dessert.  But it can be temporary and really needs to be in moderation.

Eudaimonic happiness comes from within and is longer lasting and transformative.  I made a list of some examples, but keep in mind that happiness is subjective and what makes you happy may not be the case for someone else.

  • Volunteering at a homeless shelter.
  • Learning how to speak another language.
  • Traveling around the world with a friend.
  • Reigniting a relationship.
  • Donating money to a non-profit organization.


Okay, being lazy has its place and purpose, like when you're tired or you just need a break so you can reset.  However, if it starts to interfere with your normal activities and wellbeing, then it's time for a change.

When I say change, I don't mean doing something drastic.  In fact, I recommend starting with something small or going at it very slowly because you don't want to get discouraged or give up if things don't work out.

You can start with living your life with more intention.  Being intentional is living your life proactively and bringing more awareness into your life.  By living life with more intention, you define what your values and beliefs are so they create more meaning in your life.


I used to be one of those people who thinks too much.  It became so problematic that I developed generalized anxiety because of it.  I was able to get my life back together by training my mind not to think so much.

Getting mentally unstuck from something like that is difficult, though.  The trick I learned, which is also a good first step, is to realize that you can't stop the flow of thoughts in your head.  Once you accept this, one method you can try to stop overthinking is meditation.  Meditation is a skill that takes time, patience, and practice.

The great thing about meditating is that there are so many different types out there and you don't have to sit silently in a lotus position for hours.  Plus, you can do it just about anywhere.  You can also walk, eat, or simply become aware of the present moment while you meditate.


If you want to get your life back on track, then getting in shape is a must do.  This means getting physically, mentally, and emotionally fit.  Some examples are:

  • Getting adequate rest.
  • Minimizing stressors.
  • Eating nutritious foods.
  • Staying hydrated with fluids.
  • Getting enough exercise

Getting your health back is a fundamental step to getting your life back because if your health is bad, you're no good to anyone, even yourself.

You don't have to start in a particular place, you can just begin with a willingness to change your health for the better.  Having this awareness will bring it into focus and then you will come up with ways to get yourself back in shape.


Knowing who you are is a simple task, but it requires courage and honesty.  It is going within to discover what it is that makes you, you.  It's also bringing to light, the things that you sometimes don't want to see about yourself.

When you know who you are at the core, you are more likely to trust and have confidence in yourself, and subsequently get your life back together.  Here are some questions to help you know who you are:

  • What do I love?
  • What are my strengths?
  • What are my weaknesses?
  • What do I want to change about myself?
  • What is my calling?


Values are important to helping you get your life back on track because they shape the way you perceive and react in the world.  It can be hard to distinguish your core values from those you may have adopted from other people.

For example, you value recognition, but your parents and particular circle of friends believe that it is wrong to think so highly of yourself.

Defining your core values will help you focus on what matters most to you in life.  They might even go against what other people value, even those in your close circle.

However, it's important to stay focused on them if you want to live a life that is fulfilling and meaningful.  Here are just a few questions to help you get started:

  • What's the most important thing to me right now?
  • What makes me excited to get up in the morning?
  • Why did I choose my life partner?
  • If money and time were not a factor, what would I be doing right now?
  • What was a valuable life lesson that I learned?


Your beliefs can influence the way you think, and subsequently your behavior.  Therefore, identifying your core beliefs can be beneficial to getting your life back together.

Your core beliefs can come from you personally, like believing you will graduate from college, despite the odds stacked against you and what everyone else thinks about you.

Core beliefs can also be shaped by your environment, like sharing the same beliefs as the family you grew up in.

Becoming aware of what your beliefs are will make them more malleable.  It allows you to discern between personal and societal beliefs.  Knowing this will help you understand your thought patterns and behavior better so that beliefs can act as a guide that serves you rather than something that is dictating your life.


Talking to someone about getting your life back together can be difficult because it can leave you vulnerable.  So be sure to choose someone who you can trust before you open up the conversation.

Reaching out to another person can be beneficial because you might gain valuable insights that you may not have been aware of.  Or you might be in contemplation mode and in need of a boost of confidence or confirmation before you initiate the process.

Here are some examples of how talking to someone can benefit you and how to start:

  • Find a group of like-minded people.
  • Look for a mentor who can guide you.
  • Get a consultant that can give you advice.
  • Speak with a therapist or counselor.
  • Hire a life coach to be your support.
  • Speak to a confidante, who is a person who you completely trust.
  • Talk to your religious or spiritual leader.
  • Call your best friend and tell them what's going on.
  • Confide in a close family member.
  • Start networking.
  • Ask someone for help.
  • Get professional help.
  • Talk to someone about your feelings.


Fears were designed to protect you, but these days, they can act as an impediment in your life.  They can keep you from getting your life back in order because they often stop you from moving forward or trying something new.

Depending on how you perceive and react to them, some fears are easier to overcome than others.  Sometimes, fears can be confused with other emotions and feelings, like intense excitement.

Overcoming fears begins with facing them.

Once you are aware of a fear, you can begin to understand it.  Sometimes a fear can be difficult to face, so seek some help from someone you trust or get help from a professional.


Confidence is something that does not come naturally to me and I'm sure that some of you can relate.  There might be certain things you do that you are more competent, and confident in, than others.

For instance, I am more confident in my writing skills than my public speaking skills.  This doesn't mean that I will forever avoid public speaking just because it's something that I fear and doesn't come naturally to me.

Self-confidence can help you get back on track by giving you that extra internal boost that you can project outwardly in a positive way.

Here are some tips you can use to help you boost your self-confidence:


A goal is something that you aspire toward or work to accomplish.  Goals can help you keep your life on track as long as you stay on top of them.

It's important not to become too attached to the outcome of a goal or achieving one because sometimes they are set too high and can cause disappointment.  Or you may have an unforeseen setback that can delay a goal or cause you to drop it altogether.

To help you create life goals that are realistic and attainable, use the SMART method.

SMART stands for:

  • SPECIFIC:  Be very clear with what you want to attain.
  • MEASURABLE:  Set a deadline so you can track your progress.
  • ACHIEVABLE:  The goal should be within your reach.
  • REALISTIC:  Make sure the goal can be completed within the specified time frame.  Break it up into smaller goals if you have to.
  • TIME-BOUND:  Set a target date to complete your goal so you don't procrastinate.


After you set your goals in life, you can create a plan that is derived from them to help you get your life back together.  Planning might not sound so exciting, but it helps you organize your life, keeps track of your progress, and just makes your days flow better.

Planning might also sound tedious, so here are some helpful tips to get you started.

  • Make a list of goals you want to accomplish.
  • Use the SMART method to organize the list.
  • Break your goals down as small as they need to be.
  • Arrange your goals into daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly goals.
  • Reassess your goals periodically to keep track of what is working and not working for you.
  • Make a new plan from your evaluation to keep improving and evolving.

In order to have a successful and sustainable plan, learn to adapt to the dynamic and ever changing nature of life so you avoid or minimize pitfalls.

Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no less of enthusiasm. - Winston Churchill

We all have had setbacks, failures, and disappointments in life.  Sometimes the aftermath can make you feel like the whole world is on your shoulders and the uphill climb looks that much more challenging.  Learning how to get your life back together after falling really hard can be difficult to do, though not impossible.

It starts with getting clear on what you want out of life by knowing who you truly are, facing your fears by acknowledging the problem, ending procrastination by creating goals, and creating a plan so you finally have the tools you need to help you succeed in life.

I hope you found these tips helpful.  Please share your thoughts in the comments!

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