How To Use Positive Self-Affirmations To Improve Your Life.
Are you your own worst critic? I know I was. I would often compare myself to people on tv, the internet, my work, and social circles. Then social media came along and made it worse.
I criticized how I looked, talked, and even how much money I made. This negative self-talk made me lose confidence & doubt myself.
Then I discovered positive affirmations from the self-love expert, Louise Hay. She used them to heal herself and manifest the life of her dreams. She even wrote a whole book about it called “You can heal your life.”
I gave it a try to boost my confidence and self-esteem, but for some reason, I couldn’t force myself to feel more positive. That is, until I discovered the key to making positive affirmations work for me.
In this post, I’ll go over what self-affirmations are, how I made positive affirmations work for me, how they help you, and how to create your own positive self-affirmations so you can transform from your own worst critic to your greatest cheerleader.
What Are Positive Self-Affirmations?
Positive self-affirmations are statements that confirm your self-worth and value as an individual, which can affect your mood & behavior in a positive way. Some examples are: “I am worthy” or “People like me for who I am.”
When I read about Louise Hay’s stories on the internet, she claimed to heal herself of cancer using positive affirmations and even manifested a Rolls Royce once. I found them to be woo woo but also fascinating
I mean, it’s cool to say things and have them happen like magic, but would positive affirmations work for a person like me?
How Positive Self-Affirmations Work.
Self-affirmations help rewire your neural pathways so you can transcend limiting beliefs and threats to your sense of self-worth, according to a study.
Although they worked for others, when I first tried positive affirmations, I couldn’t really feel them. I couldn’t force myself to “love my hair/nose/body” or feel “joyous and happy and free” (these are from You can heal your life btw).
As hard as I tried, I couldn’t convince myself I was intelligent, pretty, or awesome. I even got anxiety because the affirmations weren’t working like in the book or the study.
I actually stopped using positive affirmations for a really long time. I used mindfulness instead, which was also hard to master, but helped me understand years later why the affirmations didn’t work.
They didn’t work because I had to clear out the bad stuff in order to let in the good stuff. It was like trying to fill your house with pretty new furniture but not cleaning out the dirt or clutter first. How can you enjoy your new stuff when you home is a mess?
Mindfulness helped me become aware of my negative thoughts, feelings, and beliefs. I was able to process them, which took a really long time, and let them go.
It was the key to making positive affirmations work for me. By connecting with them in a real & meaningful way, I was able to change my mindset & improve my life like Louise Hay.
The Benefits Of Positive Self-Affirmations.
A study done by the University of Pennsylvania revealed the important functions of self-affirmations.
First, they found that just thinking about something you value is enjoyable and enhances your mood.
Second, self-affirmations help mitigate negativity when you feel threatened by criticism or failure.
Third, increasing the basis of your self-worth through affirmations help regulate emotions.
I have yet to manifest a Rolls Royce, but I have benefitted from positive affirmations over the years. They help when I have to give a speech, when I fail at something, or when I have to look at my latest labwork.
They don’t get rid of my negative self-talk, but they do work alongside it. When I’m criticizing myself or have doubts, they become my cheerleader. They give me a boost when things feel tense and out of my control.
When I use the right affirmations, the kinds that feel appropriate & authentic, I am able to calm and center myself.
When I’m calm and centered, positive affirmations help me feel “joyous and happy and free”.
How To Create Self-Affirmations.
I found out that the most important thing when it comes to positive affirmations is to make them feel authentic to you. You have to connect with them emotionally & mentally in order to resonate with them and make them work for you. Here are a few more things to keep in mind when creating your self-affirmations:
Connect With The Affirmation.
One way to make your affirmation more effective is to connect with it and truly feel it from inside. The way to do this is to create one that you can relate to and is realistic.
You might have trouble feeling or connecting with your affirmation if you aim too high.
For example:
“I am good enough” vs. “I am a superstar”.
The first phrase is more realistic & relatable if you’re at a point in your life where you resonate more with the former than the latter phrase.
If you create an affirmation that feels lofty or out of touch, you might have trouble connecting with it personally.
You can always change your affirmation once you can genuinely feel it.
Don’t Use Should & Don’t.
It’s important to frame your affirmations in a positive way if you want to improve your life. One simple way to do this is to avoid certain words like should and don’t. Here are some examples:
- “I don’t want to feel bad about myself anymore.”
- “I should stop eating junk food.”
Use The Present Tense.
If you want your affirmations to feel true, you need to create them in the present tense. Saying an affirmation in the past or future tense doesn’t connect you to it as tightly or make it as effective as one in the present tense.
Here’s an example of an affirmation in the past tense:
“I always wanted to be a famous fashion designer.”
You are saying that you want to be a fashion designer, but not with any real conviction. It keeps the affirmation in the past.
Here’s an example of an affirmation in the future tense.
“I will be rich someday.”
An affirmation in the future tense will always keep it out of reach for you.
Let Go Of Limiting Beliefs.
Your beliefs are the things that you perceive and accept as truth. They affect how you think and behave and can influence your decisions.
If you want to create affirmations that will positively impact your life, you need to identify your limiting beliefs.
Limiting beliefs can hold you back from going after what you want in life. They might make your affirmations less effective if you still carry negative beliefs about yourself.
Crush Your ANTS.
In his book, “Limitless”, Jim Kwik describes ANTS as automatic negative thoughts (aka negative automatic thoughts). It’s a questionnaire developed by Steven D. Hollon and Phillip C. Kendall that is used to identify negative thoughts that automatically pop up into your mind.
Here are examples of ANTS from a Harvard article:
- “All or nothing” thinking: Seeing yourself as a failure if your performance is short of perfect.
- Mental filter: dwelling on a single negative detail so it distorts your vision of reality.
- Rejecting the positive: discounting positive experiences in order to maintain a negative belief.
- Catastrophizing: overexaggerating a minor mistake.
- Minimization: underplaying one’s capabilities.
You want to identify your ANTs so you can crush them. Doing so can help remove obstacles to your wellbeing and increase your self-worth by connecting with your affirmations on a deeper level.
Consider Your Areas Of Life.
You can create affirmations that are tailored for your lifestyle by looking at the the main areas of life that need improvement.
Rank the areas of life accordingly and start with the one at top. Specifying your affirmations to your personal needs & desires can enhance their effectiveness because they’ll be unique to your lifestyle. Here are 8 main areas of life to consider:
- Physical
- Mental
- Spiritual
- Social
- Intellectual
- Occupational
- Health
- Recreational
How To Use Self-Affirmations.
Self-affirmations are like a muscle. If you want to use them to your advantage, use them regularly so that they get stronger over time. Make it a point to say them to yourself at least once a day.
I used to practice my positive affirmations before getting out of bed. Nowadays, I use them when I catch myself thinking and feeling overly negative things or when I need to soothe myself when things feel out of my control.
If you need a little nudge, here’s list to help you create your own positive self-affirmations.
A List Of 27 Daily Positive Affirmations To Help Improve Your Life.
- I am worthy.
- I am intelligent.
- I am beautiful.
- I am competent.
- I am more than enough.
- I am powerful beyond measure.
- I have confidence in my skills.
- Love and joy flow through me with ease.
- My family supports and loves me in every way.
- I have something valuable to contribute to the world.
- The Universe is always supportive of my thoughts, decisions, and actions.
- I have a very satisfying career and a very caring employer.
- I have a thriving and wildly successful business.
- My significant other is very loving, thoughtful, and considerate.
- Everything is revealed to me at the perfect time.
- I have everything I need within me to succeed in life.
- Opportunities open up to me and I am ready to receive them.
- Challenges are wonderful learning opportunities.
- I overcome all obstacles that are placed in my path.
- My life is full of abundance.
- Happy surprises come to me each day.
- I am vibrant, radiant health.
- I love everyone and everyone loves me.
- I trust in the process of life.
- I see the path that is meant for me clearly.
- I completely accept myself for who I am right now.
- I am perfect, whole, and complete.
Closing Thoughts.
Contrary to what I read in Louise Hay’s book, positive self-affirmations work not by repetition to override negative thoughts, but by allowing yourself to feel your negative thoughts & feelings. You’ll connect more emotionally & mentally with your affirmations when you let the negativity process through your system.
I still use positive self-affirmations because I can easily fall back into old patterns of self-criticism, comparison and judgement when I’m not watching myself or get lazy.
When positive affirmations connect with you in an authentic & meaningful way, they can help you transcend negativity and become your personal cheer squad.
More On Affirmations & Boosting Confidence.
If you want to learn more about positive self-affirmations and boosting your self-confidence, check out the following articles:
31 positive affirmations for building self-confidence every day.
30 powerful, daily affirmations to inspire you.
How to boost your confidence in 6 practical ways.
How to raise your self-esteem and why it’s important.
