Trust in the process and face your fears

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Trust in the process and face your fears

To be able to trust in the process and face your fears can be a hard thing because like most people, you want to feel safe and comfortable.  Yet old fears and patterns keep popping up such as having a lack of money, never finding a perfect partner, getting sick, getting hurt, stress, anxiety, etc.  You feel stuck and overwhelmed because it seems like a never ending cycle.  Then you stop trusting in life and feel like it is out to get you.

Our bodies in fear

These days, the threat to our safety is not in the form of an actual attack but mostly a perceived one.  When we are afraid, our bodies are sent into fight or flight mode.  The amygdala, which is responsible for processing fear (and emotions) in our brain, is triggered, sending messages to the body to increase heart rate and breathing.  Adrenaline and the stress hormone cortisol are released.  If this occurs on a daily basis, our digestive system can be suppressed and the heart is continually beating harder than normal.  This can lead to more stress, anxiety, and fears and a variety of health problems.

Our bodies in rest

When we allow our bodies to rest, we allow it to do the necessary repair.  This means getting quality sleep of 7-9 hours each night. This also means taking the time to slow down throughout the day, especially when you feel tired.  When our bodies get adequate rest, we feel refreshed, joyful and better able to face whatever comes our way.

Do you want to stop the cycle of fear, anxiety, and stress?  Do you want to trust in the process and change your life for the better?  The first step is acknowledging that you have limiting beliefs and fears.

Limiting beliefs and fears

Now that you've acknowledged your limiting beliefs and fears, it is  time to air them out and face them.  Get out some paper and a pen and write down all of your fears and limiting beliefs, why you have them and where they came from.  An example would be:

FEAR OR LIMITING BELIEF:  I am afraid I am not good enough for anyone.

WHERE AND WHY:  My father used to yell at me every time I made a mistake and called me stupid.

FEAR OR LIMITING BELIEF:  I am not pretty enough, I hate my looks and no one will ever love me.

WHERE AND WHY:  My mother always criticized how I looked, what I wore, how I styled my hair and that I needed to wear makeup to cover my flawed skin.

Give yourself some time for this.  Some of the fears and limiting beliefs are easy to spot because you repeat them to yourself everyday.  Others may be buried so deep inside you, that you may not remember them right away.  They might surface days, weeks or months later.  That is okay.  You can just add it to the list.

Do not hold anything back.  If you have an old fear or limiting belief, now is the time to write them down.  They may have come from your parents, siblings, a relative, a teacher, a friend, your church, your boss, etc.  Just like an old house, you have to get to the deeper layers of paint to strip them away completely.

How you can trust in the process

Letting go

Now that you've listed out all of your limiting fears and beliefs, it's time to clean them out and let them go.  An old belief, fear, or any negative emotion that keeps popping up was learned and never allowed to resolve.  Just because it keeps popping back into your life does not mean that it has to be true for you.  People once believed that the Earth was flat rather than round.  They were afraid that they would fall off the edge if they went too far.  Imagine if we still believed this and never dared to travel around the world?  Talk about a limiting belief and fear that did not serve anyone.

Forgive

Now take a look at your list.  Emotions such sadness, jealousy, anger and resentment may resurface and that is perfectly normal.  Fear, resentment and any negative emotion that was suppressed needs to be released so that they do not remain stuck inside of you.  Some may require repeating before they are truly resolved.  Each time should feel less than the last time until you no longer feel the emotion.  Do the following for each person or situation you have negative feelings towards.

I forgive you ________ for making me feel less than I am.  I forgive for not being the way I wanted you to be.  I wanted you to be _______.  I should have understood you instead.  Now I wish you all the best.  Thank you for all the lessons I learned from you that have allowed me to grow and continue to learn and grow.  I am willing to let go of all the conditions the caused my _______.

Now tell yourself I love you.

Be sure to have some tissues and pillows close by.  Old emotions will resurface and you my get angry and want to punch something.  Or you might want to cry or want to scream into the pillow.  It will feel cathartic and you will feel release.  You can repeat another time for the next one or until the old fear or limiting belief is dissolved.  Treat yourself to something relaxing afterwards such as a warm bath, or a relaxing exercise and tea afterwards to allow the energy to move out of you.  Removing blockages allows for new beliefs that will better serve you.

Choose to change

Be willing to change your life.  Choose to trust your inner wisdom and to trust in the process of life.  Go within and ask God, the Higher Power, Spirit, the Universe to help you and to guide you.  The answers to your questions will be revealed to you.  Both your mind and body know this intelligence, so listen and trust it.

Power of the present

There is power in the present moment.  You cannot reverse time and you cannot jump into the future.  Reliving the past will only keep you there and constantly thinking about the future robs you of your present joy.  There is only now and your power is in the now.  Take responsibility for your own life.  You are not a victim.  Each morning you wake up is a brand new day.  Every moment that passes is a new experience and a miracle.  It is a new opportunity to grow and create.

Enjoy

We sometimes forget to enjoy our moment now.  When we get caught up in our thoughts, we get caught up in a never ending cycle of what we did and what to do next.  Then we wonder why we feel tired, or that we wasted our time thinking about doing something instead of doing.  The power of the present does not require much effort.  Be still, relax, take gentle breaths and you are there.

Learn

Keep your mind on the present moment with gentleness.  If your mind wanders, that is fine.  Gently bring it back to the present and breathe with ease.  When you keep your thoughts in the present moment, creative juices flow easier and so will your opportunity to learn.

Growth and Creativity

The present moment, or mindfulness, allows peace and love to naturally flow into your mind and body.  In this state, you will trust in the process and believe that God, the Universe, Spirit, your Higher Power, is supporting you.  Naturally, you will be more curious, ask questions and answers flow easier.  When your curiosity is sparked, so does the opportunity to create.  You also feel joyful, uplifted and will want to pay it forward.

New beliefs

Adopting a new belief might be intimidating and scary, just like learning anything new.  If you ever rode a bike, remember how scary that first moment felt?  You didn't know what was going to happen, but you went ahead and trusted that with practice, you would get it.  Creating a new, core belief is the same way.  It might feel a little strange at first, but with practice, it will be easy.

Tell yourself I love you.

When you are getting ready for the day, look into your mirror and tell yourself, I am beautiful (or handsome).  I love you.  This simple and gentle act is adopted from Louise Hay's mirror work.  You look into a mirror, any mirror will do, and say to yourself, I love you.  You may feel silly, but it works. It may not work right away, but with time, gentleness and sincerity, it will.  Repeat this at night before you go to bed.  Go to a mirror again and say I love you, I really love you.  Loving yourself will help you to trust yourself and in the process of life.

Create a new and empowering belief.

Tell yourself, I trust in the process of life.  I trust that God, Spirit, the Universe, supports me.  The answers to my questions will be revealed to me in the right time.  All is well.

Go within and ask.  You made a list of limiting fears and beliefs and let them go.  Now you can create new beliefs of your own that will better serve your life.  Take a look at the following example.

Old belief:

I am not pretty enough and no one loves me.

New belief:

I am beautiful and everyone loves me.

You can repeat the new belief until it feels true for you.

Create new habits

The following habits will help to empower you so you can use your new beliefs.  They will help you continue your journey of growth and creativity and find your higher purpose.  You may even create new habits of your own.

Slow down

Slowing down allows you to be in the present moment.  It takes a few slow breaths and you are there.  This is mindfulness at work.  It can be done anywhere and at anytime.  You can do it while you are washing the dishes, brushing your teeth, dressing your children, at your desk at work, while you're helping others, at the traffic stop light, or while you are cooking dinner.  It helps to re-center you and gives you more peace throughout the day.

Simplify

Do not multitask, if you can help it.  We live in a society where efficiency and speed are rewarded.  This is not entirely a bad thing, but it does create stressful situations.  If you can help it, do one thing at a time, and prioritize what needs to get done.

Simplifying allows you to slow down.  Your body and mind will be more at rest.  You will be more present and almost in a meditative state.  The task will be more enjoyable, even if it is a mundane one.  Eliminate anything that does not help you in any way.

Saying no

Set some boundaries and limits.  If something makes you feel uncomfortable or you are just not up to it, say no.  The other person may be upset at you.  But in time they will understand, especially if they genuinely care about you.  People who have a hard time saying no find that they are drained of energy because they leave no time for themselves.  You need to leave time for yourself so you can keep your energy up and better tend to your loved ones and others who may need your service.

Meditate

Meditation is a wonderful way to tap into your inner wisdom when you want to create new beliefs and habits.  It can be done anytime, anywhere and any place.  The best way is to find a place that is quiet, where you can sit down comfortably.  You may close your eyes or keep them open and breath easy.  You may have some questions that you need to ask.  Allow them to surface with ease without judgement.  The answers will be revealed to you in perfect order.  When you are not focused entirely on something, the answers flow easier.

Journal

Start a journal.  This is a great way to process the information that you learned or was revealed to you during the day.  A great time to do this is at night.  Write down something you learned or an experience that you had.  Then write down how that made you feel.  Here are some questions you may ask yourself.

What did I learn today?

How did it make me feel?

What was my experience?

Did something change?

What was my reaction?

Find a mentor.

This can be a member of your church, a family member, a friend, a self help book, or a supportive community.  When you have questions and need help, a mentor is someone you can turn to.  They are already experienced and will be able to guide you with their wisdom and information.

Give back

Being empowered will inspire you to want to give back.  This can be as simple as being physically present for someone and just listening to them.  This small, but powerful act of love for someone else, will help ease their suffering, especially if that other person is in pain.

When life brings pain and suffering, it can be easy to lose faith and become fearful.  This only brings more pain and fear.  The way to start take your focus from it is to trust in the process and face your fear.  It does not have to be hard.  But it does require patience, trust and letting go.  You may feel like you are not making any progress.  This is perfectly normal.  It only means that you need to repeat and before you can move on.

Forgiveness and letting go is the best way to release your fears and limiting beliefs.  Once you do this, you will trust in your inner wisdom to guide you.  You will be able to create new beliefs that better serve you.  Your focus will be on the positive rather than the negative.  You will trust in the process of life and able to face adversity.  This will enable you to find your higher purpose and create a life you always wanted.

Christine Songco is the creator of Third Bliss and is passionate about helping others thrive holistically by finding passion, meaning, and purpose in life. Christine has been featured in WebMD, Authority Magazine, Philips Lifeline, Owl Guru, and The Lifestyle Blogger UK.

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