This post was inspired by one of my newsletter reader’s comments about being comfortable in your own skin through journaling.
I had to jog my memory back to when I started my own journey because it’s been years since I began. To be honest, I thought I was going to write a series of posts but when I started brainstorming on paper, there were just a few foundational things I did to get me to where I am today.
I’m going to share with you my step-by-step guide on how to feel comfortable in your own skin, through self-reflection and self-love.
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Start Journaling To Overcome Blocks.
My journey to feel comfortable in my own skin started way back in 2017 with journaling. I had no idea what I was doing when I first started but kept at it because it felt like a release.
Then I discovered The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron and I loved it so much that it’s my preferred method of journaling. I even created my own version that I still do to this day.
Journaling every day helped me see & understand myself more clearly. The thoughts and emotions that were hidden beneath my consciousness came up, word by word, phrase by phrase, and helped me overcome mental and emotional blocks.
Practice Meditation To Train Your Thoughts.
My meditation practice started with mindfulness. It helped me see my thoughts and emotions for what they really were.
I learned that your identity is not attached to either one. Who you are is not what you feel or think. If this were true then I’d be a lot of bad and good things.
Thoughts & emotions are powerful to the point that they can cause you to misinterpret them in yourself and other people.
A regular meditation practice can help you separate your thoughts from your emotions so you can see the truth behind them, understand them better, and accept them for what they are.
Allow Yourself To Feel Your Emotions.
Healing started when I allowed myself to feel my emotions, good & bad. As an adult, I thought I had emotional regulation all figured out.
My adult version was to suppress & ignore my bad emotions and only allow myself to feel & show good emotions like an obedient child.
Instead of feeling good, I only felt anxiety. I got fed up one day and decided to let myself feel all my emotions, bad & good.
I figured that there’s a reason why we have them and because I’m not an expert, I don’t need to get to the bottom of them. I just have to allow myself to feel them so I can release them.
I didn’t label them, or at least tried my best not to. I let them take their course and treated them like a precious child, no matter how petty, bad, or ridiculous they seemed.
This helped me manage my emotions better and understand that they’re a natural part of us. They don’t define us or dictate our behavior. Maybe I’ll figure it out someday, but I think they’re meant to protect us, help us grow, and help us connect with & relate to one another.
Start Shadow Work.
Shadow work is hard but it is doable. It helped me accept myself for who I really am. I used to be ashamed of the things that I didn’t like about myself.
After I started shadow work, I started to see that those things that I felt ashamed of were not bad. They were just labeled as bad by my own judgement and society’s standards.
Over time I saw myself for who I really was and began to embrace the sides of me that I once kept hidden from myself and other people.
When I accepted all parts of me, good & bad, I started to love myself unconditionally.
Love Yourself Unconditionally.
Loving myself unconditionally was the result of all the practices that came before it: journaling, meditation, emotional regulation, and shadow work.
It took a long time because I had no idea how to love myself unconditionally. I had this belief that it was selfish to love yourself and that it came in the form of getting a degree, having a fancy job title, driving expensive cars, owning a nice house, and wearing designer clothes.
Self-love is not that at all. It is accepting all of who you are, good & bad. It’s also about accepting your circumstances and where you’re at in life, whether you’re up or down.
When you love yourself unconditionally, you have more confidence in yourself, you don’t need the approval of others to feel validated, you have the courage to express yourself more authentically in the world, and you feel comfortable in your own skin.
Last Thoughts On Feeling Comfortable In Your Own Skin.
Learning how to be comfortable in your own skin begins with awareness. It’s simple yet powerful because you can do it any time and you get to decide what action to take.
Once you’re aware of who you are, you start to understand yourself and the motivations behind your thoughts, feelings, & actions. This paves the way to self-acceptance, unconditional self-love, and feeling comfortable & confident about who you really are.
Start with one page, one paragraph, or even one word, and see where it takes you.
Because sometimes, the first step to being comfortable in your own skin is just picking up your pen.
If you want to read more about feeling comfortable in your own skin, read how to boost your confidence, how to own who you are, and how to love yourself.
What action will you take to feel more comfortable in your own skin? I’d love to know! Leave a comment below.
