When you think you're not good enough, here are 14 tips that can help.
You know that feeling when you're scrolling through your social media feed and all the pictures of people's lives seem so much better than yours? You find yourself thinking, "Why am I not good enough?"
It feels like there is always someone out there who has something you don't. There are many reasons why you might feel this way: maybe you compare yourself to others too often or maybe it's because people have been telling you for years how bad of a person/friend/daughter/etc. etc. that you are.
The truth is, no one will ever be perfect, but everyone deserves to feel good about themselves, including you. In this blog post, you'll learn about 5 possible reasons why you don't feel good enough and 11 ways to help you feel better about yourself and your life.
The feeling of not being good enough can plague us all, and it stifles everything we could otherwise accomplish. Here's the thing, you are not alone in this. In fact, there are many people who struggle with the same thing as you do on a daily basis.
I've been there. I know how it feels to not be good enough, to compare yourself to others and feel like a failure, or for your self-confidence to plummet because of one mistake that you made. It's tough out there sometimes when you're trying so hard but can't seem to get the traction necessary for success.
You start feeling bad about everything in your life and wondering what is wrong with you - why are other people succeeding while all you do is struggle? Why can't you ever make anything work? What if this never changes?
If these questions sound familiar, then I hear you. The truth is that we all have our own unique strengths and weaknesses, but we tend to focus on the negative.
So how can you get out of your head so you can start to feel like a success? It starts with looking at the reasons why you don't feel good enough.
5 possible reasons why you don't feel good enough.
There are so many reasons why you don't feel good enough. It could be because you don't have enough education or experience, or you haven't had the opportunity to learn new skills.
Or you just haven't been challenged in a way that uses your full potential. Whatever the case may be, exploring the reasons why you don't feel good enough is the first step you can take to begin focusing on improving yourself emotionally, physically, and mentally. Here are some possible reasons why you might not feel good enough.
1. You don't feel supported by the people around you.
You don't feel supported by those around you because you have not had a supportive environment in your life while you were growing up. A lack of support can lead you to feel like you're not good enough.
They can also be due to trauma such as abuse, neglect, or being criticized by others outside of the family unit who are close friends or peers from school, work, etc.; but even without going through any form of traumatic event yourself, constant criticism could build upon itself over time until you start to develop a negative sense of self-worth.
2. You may be highly critical and sensitive.
Criticism is essential for growth and change, but only if it's being used for good. The trouble is, too much criticism can be detrimental and can start to take away from your sense of self-worth.
Once you get used to negative thoughts about yourself, it can be harder to notice them and overcome them. Often it's because we judge ourselves too harshly, or overlook positive attributes that make us unique and successful.
It's hard to notice what's going on when you're telling yourself, or thinking that, you're not good enough.
You may also be a highly sensitive person. This means that your ability to recognize emotional and social situations is exceptional and you can sense the feelings of others very easily.
It also means that it may be difficult for you to cope with overwhelming emotions, especially when those emotions are negative, and you mistake them as your own emotions.
It's very important for you to recognize these traits within you and when you are around others so they are not dragging you down.
3. You feel that the world is against you.
You feel like the world is against you, and sometimes it feels as if there isn't a single person on your side. It seems as if everyone has something negative to say about you and your life choices - or they don't notice them at all!
This type of negativity can be draining after a while, leaving you feeling overwhelmed and misunderstood. You know better than this, but it's hard sometimes to fight the negative thoughts that are going through your mind.
4. You might be trying to do too much.
You might be doing too much and spreading yourself thin in an effort to prove your self-worth to others. There's a persistent feeling that you have to keep chasing the unattainable idea of perfection, so you keep trying.
It can be very limiting, and the more you try to prove yourself to others, the more you feel like you're not good enough. All of this prevents you from enjoying what's important in life and being happy with yourself.
5. You're putting too much pressure on yourself.
When you feel like you are not good enough you may push yourself harder than you really have to. You think there must be something wrong with you because you don't have what everyone else has.
We put so much pressure on ourselves to be successful. In high school, we put so much pressure on ourselves to be popular, to win, and to be smart. In college, we put pressure on ourselves to be well-rounded, to have a voice, to be original.
We do this for so many reasons...the pressure to be good and fashionable, smart and hardworking, popular and cool. When we are looking for validation, it's easy to put too much pressure on ourselves to achieve.
We invest a lot of time and energy in trying to be good enough and when life doesn't go our way or we feel like something isn't going well, it can lead us into a downward spiral.
Things to consider when you don't feel good enough.
When we feel like we're not good enough, it can be hard to shake that feeling of inadequacy.
It's easy to let those negative thoughts spiral out of control and before you know it, your mind is consumed with self-doubt.
That doesn't have to happen. There are many things you can do to stop feeling this way. The following are some tips on how to overcome these feelings so they don't continue controlling your life.
How to make yourself feel good enough.
Here are 14 tips to help you keep those "gremlins" from taking over.
14 ways to stop feeling like you're not good enough.
1. Acknowledge that you are not feeling good enough.
Addressing the problem by becoming aware of when you're not feeling good enough is the first step to understanding yourself and improving your self-confidence.
By focusing on how you feel, what you think about others, and why these thoughts come up in a particular situation will help bring awareness of personal habits that are not productive or healthy for growth as an individual.
Knowing when this behavior comes up allows you to recognize certain things you may not have been aware of before.
The more aware you are of your thoughts, feelings, and emotions, the less likely it will be that they control you.
It's not about what happens to or around you but how well do you react when these things happen.
2. Let go of limiting beliefs.
There were times in my life when I was convinced that I was not good enough. When I looked at others more highly than myself, I believed that they were inherently better than me. As a result, I often behaved in ways that I didn't believe in just to feel more accepted by others.
If you have an internalized belief that you are not good enough, it can have a profound effect on your mindset and your behavior. It also becomes difficult for you to stop looking at "weaknesses" in others and exaggerating your own abilities.
Holding onto a belief that you are not good enough can really hold you back. One way to overcome a limiting belief is by identifying it. This allows you to either drop or improve the negative opinion of yourself and correct any behaviors that follow from this misconception.
3. Write some positive things about yourself.
It's easy to feel discouraged and let self-doubt take over when you think you're not good enough. But there are some things in your life you can't deny as being positive and good, even if they're small or seem insignificant right now.
It might be time to think about what those positives could mean for who you want to become and the impact it has on others around you too!
Remembering our strengths is a great way to help you recover from negative thoughts - both internally & externally projected onto us by other people. You have talents waiting inside all of you just itching for an opportunity to break out into something amazing. All you need is a journal, a pen, and some time.
Here are examples of positive writing about yourself:
- I am a kind person.
- I am intelligent.
- I have a lot of friends.
- I am fun to be around.
- I am a really hard worker.
- I am creative.
- I am good at helping others.
- I have am an excellent communicator.
- I don't need to be number one.
- I am worthy.
- I deserve to be here.
4. Remember that you are unique.
Sometimes I feel pressured to be something that I'm not, but sometimes I just need to find creative solitude in my room with the door closed for a few hours - and there's nothing wrong with that!
When you think that you are not good enough, remember the things that you excel at and make you unique. You may be the most accomplished in one area, or a handful of areas, that someone else may not be.
Conversely, that person may be great at something that you're not. The difference is, these accomplishments and quirks are what make you, you.
It's hard when you feel like you're not good enough, but remember that no one can be accomplished or perfect at everything. Embrace the things about yourself that make you unique and special.
5. You have something to contribute to the world.
You have something to contribute to the world because you are unique, talented, thoughtful, patient, and interested in learning more about who you are and what you can do.
Somewhere in your mind, there is a message that has not been heard yet and it's time to share what you have inside with the people around you.
There's no such thing as "too late" or "not enough." Being good at something means learning from your past and not giving up when things get hard.
6. Find your purpose in life.
Discovering your purpose in life can give you clarity and direction on where you want your life to go. A person without a clear sense of purpose will often feel lost and insecure while trying to make decisions about the future or even what they want for lunch.
An individual with well-defined purposes, on the other hand, is able to decide confidently between two options by asking themselves which option best aligns with their values.
Your purpose in life is the thing that makes you want to wake up every morning. It gives you a reason to feel good about yourself, take on challenges in your day-to-day life. and makes you excited to be here.
7. Face your fears.
Sometimes, the only thing you can do is to face your fear when you don't feel good enough. When fear is stuffed down inside, it grows bigger and bigger until you address it.
Fear is a negative state of mind that holds you back and tells you to not do things, or that something bad will happen, or you're going to get hurt, or feel embarrassed, etc.
If you are living your life with these thoughts, you miss out on opportunies that could life changing. The best way to start is by naming the specific thing that makes me feel fearful or nervous about a particular situation so you can be prepared for it.
For example: if my fear of riding in an elevator often gets too intense, then before going into any confined space such as one with no windows at all, I might imagine myself being inside while thinking
"This isn't actually happening!" This helps confront these feelings head-on rather than suppressing them until they become more powerful because you're running away instead of facing your fear.
8. Accept where you are right now.
There is a voice inside your head that says you are not good enough and will never be good enough. That's why you procrastinate, avoid important decisions, and settle for less than what you really want in life.
A great way to overcome this is accepting where you are right now because that means taking responsibility for, and being content with, your decisions.
9. Remember how far you've come.
Reflect on what has gotten you to where you are today because, without it, everything in your life up to this point would not have been possible. You may feel that your hard work is going unnoticed or maybe even unappreciated by others sometimes.
However, remembering how far you've come can help you stay motivated when you don't feel good enough. Don't forget who helped you and how you helped others because it shaped the person that you are today.
When things get tough, take a moment to look back at the progress that you have made so far. Remember any valuable lessons you learned and experiences that were meaningful and made you feel like you were good enough.
10. Eliminate toxic relationships.
You may feel like your life is endlessly consumed by the toxicity of another person, but it's not worth sacrificing your mental and physical health over. There are plenty of ways to end toxic relationships without disrupting your own personal well-being.
When you are close to ending a relationship, the thought of ending it seem terrifying. Even if the other person is not worth the damage it can do to your self-esteem, the thought of ending the relationship does not help to ease the crushing despair that you feel inside.
Breaking up with someone is not only difficult but heartbreaking. It is also an enormous waste of time and energy which could be better spent improving yourself instead of wasting away on people who don't deserve you.
It's not always easy to just walk away but sometimes you have no choice because staying will do more harm than good eventually; so take this opportunity as a way to say yes to, and feel better about, yourself.
11. Embrace imperfection.
The world is not always a perfect place - in fact, we all know that the ideal place never really exists. But embracing your own imperfection can be an important part of feeling good about yourself.
The more you try to be perfect, the harder it is to be real. When you engage with the world through small, manageable steps instead of striving to be flawless, you discover what's truly important.
Being imperfect is a gift, not a curse. Learn how to accept mistakes and weaknesses because they are part of who are. When you embrace this spirit—rather than striving to be perfect—you discover that you're more likely to feel good enough.
12. Positive affirmations.
Positive affirmations are about believing in yourself and what you can accomplish in your life. They're also great for when you need that little extra encouragement.
To start, it's important to speaking positive words in the first person like, "I'm the best" or "I love myself."
Positive affirmations may not feel true at first, but if you keep practicing them, you'll eventually start to believe in them. This is important because they can help protect you when you think, "Why am I not good enough?"
13. Learn how to love yourself.
Love is a powerful force that cannot be explained, but you most likely experienced it in your own life.
How do you love yourself? The answer is in the process. You don’t learn how to love yourself by being told, and you certainly don’t learn it by being told repeatedly that you are wonderful just the way you are.
You learn by doing. And doing what? By loving the process, not the result. The result might be learning to be grateful for what you have instead of focusing on what you lack. Or it might be learning to say no when someone offers you something you don’t.
The ability to love yourself is a huge step toward feeling good about yourself. Here are a few things you can do to love yourself more:
- Find moments when something makes you feel good about yourself and take note of those things when they happen.
- Be kind to yourself and practice self-compassion by telling yourself how much you're worthy and deserving.
- Celebrate achievements (small ones too!) and share your accomplishments with family and friends.
The next time you feel like you're not good enough, remember these tips on how to love yourself.
14. Get some help/therapy.
Sometimes you need to get help from someone else when you're not feeling good enough because it's just too difficult and that's okay. You deserve to have a safe place for your mind even if it means handing over the reins so you can have peace.
Getting help with your mental health is one of the most important decisions you can make. Be sure you get support from someone you trust, like a confidante, spiritual leader, or licensed professional.
Therapy often helps people who have difficulty talking through or making sense of difficult emotions like stress, depression or anxiety. Regardless of who you seek help from, asking for help is one way to gain a better understanding of why you don't feel good enough and may even improve the way you feel about yourself.
"At the end of the day, remind yourself that you did the best you could today, and that is good enough." - Lori Deschene
There can be many reasons why you don't feel like you're good enough. It might be that you're trying to do too much, or you're afraid of failure, or you have a perfectionist mindset.
It's normal to feel like this and it happens to the best of us. When you start to ask the question, "Why am I not good enough?", remember you can take some steps to help you overcome this, like facing your fears, writing positive affirmations about yourself, learning to love yourself, and getting some help if it feels overwhelming.
I hope these tips were helpful. What do you do to make yourself feel good enough? Please let me know in the comments!